Friday, April 27, 2007

Alternate reality

I read about something really pointless in the Malay Mail a couple of days ago. The story was about how Nur Salima Habibi, a former contestant of Akademi Fantasia was castigated for exposing her aurat when she was performing in a theatre production. The complaint was that she exposed her hair (together with ears and neck) in the play. It wouldn’t have been an issue if she wasn't usually tudung-clad. But because she was (and this was her trademark during the AF competition), she was taken to task for the deed.

Her excuse was that no, she did cover her hair. In adopting a technical defence, she said that she wore a tudung first and then only donned a wig over the tudung. So presto – we’ve got an actress who is syariah compliant and yet remained just as alluring as mainstream actresses, with hair seemingly showing.

I may not be too knowledgeable in religious matters but something is amiss here. Isn’t the whole purpose of wearing a tudung to prevent a stirring in the loins of men whose eyes might fall upon her uncovered head? Maybe I would have to expect that before her performance, someone would have to announce, “Please be informed that Salima is actually wearing a wig over her tudung.” For added measure the announcer might also add, “So don’t you men dare get horny.”

Even with such a caveat, I’m sure wig or no wig, loins susceptible to the sight of female hair would stir anyway.

In any case, she should consider herself lucky not to find pictures of hair superimposed on her head. Or worse, her face superimposed on a naked body like that entertainer couple who in 1998 didn’t send their PC to be repaired only not to find later that the technician didn’t pilfer their hard drive and didn’t submit their photos to

Which reminds me of yet another bizarre incident – in Japan, this time.

On New Year’s Eve of last year, a dubiously talented entertainer who goes by the stage name DJ Ozma performed a song (aptly titled “Bounce With Me”) on NHK (the Japanese equivalent of RTM1) accompanied by a troupe of female dancers. Half-way through the performance his equally talented dancers took off their tops, exposing what seemed like their breasts and continued bouncing with him until the end.

Not unexpectedly, the next day NHK received 1800 complaints about the inappropriateness of the extravaganza. NHK’s explanation was that the dancers only wore flesh coloured suits (fully installed with nipple coloured fake nipples). No breasts were exposed during the whole affair. I would normally think, yeah right but it’s the Japanese we are talking about. Bizarre is as bizarre does. (See video here)

No boobies bared here. Honest.

Now what would this mean for baldies? Perhaps they could now go around sans their bad hairpieces and claim that they are wearing flesh-coloured head coverings for the heck of it.

Gambar hiasan semata-mata

I expressed my amazement to my friend K about this whole state of affairs. He summed it up quite nicely, “It’s pointless. Just like jerking off wearing gloves.” I couldn’t quite agree based on personal experience, but I think he might have a point.

The silliness of it all is totally depressing. I think I'll drop into my neighbourhood pub but don't get me wrong. I'll only be knocking back some non-alcoholic beer and then just pretend to get absolutely wasted.


Anonymous said...

"Just like jerking off wearing gloves."

hahaha! great analogy!

Theta said...

Hmm, I wonder if other female Malay artistes/celebrities will opt the same kind of excuse when they partake in any hair-showing extravaganza?

My goodness sake, stick to your principles and don't go around making lame, inane excuses for your lapse in judgment! She's insulting us well-informed newsreaders!

izso said...

Hmm.. 'tis better to have an excuse than to be hammered by the public.

And incidentally, I think the whole tudung thing is overrated. I mean, this gorgeous malay girl sits next to me in the office and she's usually wearing her tudung and wears pretty decent clothing. Loins still moving like what incognito said. So what's the big deal anyway? Show then show la. You gotta air that head of hair sometime right?

And of all people, you had to show Semi-Value's pic. You won't believe how many people in the car community hate that bloke.

Oh.. let's not forget Janet Jackson's wardrobe malfunction! XD

Mr Incognito said...

Anonymous >>> I hope I haven't given people any funny ideas

Theta >>> another point of curiosity is those swimming pool phtoshoots of our nubile female artistes in t-shirts over their bikinis. Why bother?

izso >>> maybe it's the forbidden fruit that's stirring your loins. But showing hair is a big deal. It is a specific prohibition. It's only when the spirit of the rule is not followed you get ridiculous outcomes like tudung-clad girls in tight t-shirts (not that i'm complaining)

pugly said...

As far as I'm concerned, wearing a tudung is not just a phase in fashion, it's a lifetime commitment. Once you decide to wear it, you should never take it off in the presence of your non-muhrim. No play2 one.

Salima's excuse is downright lame. She's obviously trying to cover up her own shit after being caught red-handed going against her `principles'. A wig is not, I repeat, NOT the same as a tudung. And yes, whay about the exposed neck & ear, which are, to many, erogenous zones? Besides, it's also clearly stated in the Qur'an & Hadith that a wearing a wig for women is haram, as evident in the following excerpt from Hadith Riwayat Bukhari & Muslim:

SEORANG wanita telah datang menemui Rasulullah SAW, katanya kepada baginda:

“"Ya Rasulullah, saya mempunyai seorang anak perempuan remaja yang telah diserang pen yakit demam campak yang menyebabkan rosak atau gugur rambutnya, adakah boleh saya memakainya dengan rambut palsu?"

Rasulullah menjawab: “Allah mengutuk perempuan yang menjadi tukang rambut palsu dan perempuan yang memakai rambut palsu.”"

So, Salima - any other questions?

akula said...

What I admire about her is her attempt to provide an excuse for her action even if it's a stupid one. 10 marks for the usaha. Ingatlah, Usaha tanda kejayaan.

Anonymous said...

Great blog, Mr Incognito. Looking forward to more entertaining writing.


Mr Incognito said...

ustazah pugly >>> thanks for the doing the research for me. glad to see my reasoning has some real foundation.

akula >>> sounds like what our politicians would usually do. maybe she should consider a new career

Fran >>> glad you found your way here. kindly share by which route?

Anonymous said...

Mr. Incognito,

It was through another great blog, "Nights Over Eygpt". BTW, your pic looks familiar, can't put my finger on it...


akula said...

How true. tsk, tsk.

Mr Incognito said...

Fran >>> u mean my avatar? cannot be since it's an original design. unless u r talking about the samy vellu or the orang utan pic (in case u can't tell them apart, the orang utan is not wearing a suit)

The Pisces Man said...

So I see, she's the gal from last AF... when I read the news in paper few days back, I wasn't sure which (misinformed and act like she knows what she's doing) Salima is this...?

Perhaps I should wear flesh coloured shirt to work one day. That should put off everyone from working, or er... 'put on'? Kik kik kik kik...

Edroos said...

Gee, the extend one would go to avoid further backlash from the public.

It is weird as you have put it that people seem to cume up with ridiculous explanations over their bloopers. Publicity stunt, maybe.

So should a robber that help up the bank with a fake revolver be penalised? Although he got the million dollars isn't it dubious; fact that he used an UNREAL weapon?

Wow Mr Incognito Sir, again you've opened up another Pandora's Box. Perhaps there are some things that you can do and get away with it. It's all about having the right excuses and response.

trueblue said...

Maybe Salima was pressured or something but she could have come up with a better excuse than thatlah. Its weird that she said its ok. Dahlah expose the neck and all that..

I agree with Pugly. Once we wear, we have to really commit.

Anonymous said...

Saya Bertudung......tetapi...saya juga " :

Berpakaian :
Berbaju lengan labuh tetapi ketat.( Body shape )
Berbaju labuh tetapi lengan pendek.( T-Shirt )
Berbaju ,lengan Labuh tetapi seluar panjang Fit / low waist.
Berbaju ,lengan Labuh & seluar panjang labuh tetapi 5 suku ( paras betis )
Berbaju ,lengan Labuh & seluar panjang labuh
tetapi tudung befesyen kebelakang nampak leher & dada.
Berbaju ,lengan Labuh & seluar panjang labuh tetapi baju saya XX-ray

Bersifat :
( Penyayang ) Selalu keluar kesana sini dengan
teman lelaki.(Bukan Muhrim/Mahram)
( Mengeratkan Silaturahim ) Berpegangan Erat
tangan dengan teman lelaki semasa berjalan.
( Berhati-Hati ) Memeluk teman lelaki semasa membonceng motosikal.
( Ingin Tahu ) Selalu meletakkan kepala di
atas bahu teman lelaki saya semasa menyaksikan air laut.
( Tak cemburu ) Tak kisah Suami orang ker tidak..( Tak Ori Tapi OK )

Berpengalaman :
( Pelakon ) memakai tudung semasa beraksi di
dalam VCD Berhari-Hari Di TUPAH. / JITRA 1 & 2.
( Model ) memakai tudung semasa mengayakan
aksi-aksi di luar batasan.
( Penyanyi ) memakai tudung semasa berkaraoke
bersama teman-teman lelaki.
( Penari ) memakai tudung semasa beraksi di
atas pentas untuk uji bakat Malaysian Idol.
( Safety First ) memakai tudung semasa mencari
tempat maksiat yang line clear.
( Jurusolek ) memakai tudung tetapi kening ditarahnya sehingga nipis.

* Selalunya wanita yang bertudung yang
sedemikian memang nampak baik ,sopan sebagai contoh :

( Bercakap Benar ) Ni 1st time I naik moto dengan lelaki.....
( Murah Hati ) Alahhh..I tak kisah...asalkan U jangan lebih-lebih dahlahhh...
( Pemalu ) Yang'g..kat sini orang nampak...marilah duduk disanaaa.....
( Bertangungjawab ) Alahhh...yangg..berani
kita berduer buat berani ler kiter tanggung....
( Prihatin ) Yangg....dah 2 minggu lebih I tak datang bulan purnama

awek owen said...

I think the whole point of wearing gloves when you jerk off is you can pretend it's someone else's hand.

akula said...

awek owen : HAHAHA. Good one!

izso said...

Woah.. Ms Pugly is quite religious to her beliefs. Not a bad thing but a bit surprising! Especially after the handcuffs, whips and all.

Mr Incognito said...

The Pisces Man >>> as long as u don't wear flesh coloured trousers, it should be ok

Edroos >>> i think u r more imaginative than me. i just wanted a post to go with the photo of the topless dancers

trueblue >>> to me it's weird that she had to wear a tudung and then put on the wig. why not just put on the wig terus?

Mr Incognito said...

Anonymous >>> so heartfelt. i'll have to be more observant next time

awek owen >>> you can pretend it's someone else's hand just by using your left hand

izso >>> don't underestimate pugly. she's a girl of many talents

*fizzy* said...

Dear Mr Incognito,

I guess Salima has done one good deed.
--> She made our paths crossed. LOL
Reading her excuse made me so furious,that's why I had to post it in my blog.
I'd burst if I just keep it to myself.
I just can't accept Muslims toying with hukums.

On a different note, thanks for dropping by my humble blog.

Anonymous said...

No difference tudung or no tudung nowadays. Tudung is not a yardstick but just merely a fashion. I turned on looking at boops or bums rather than hair. Hair is nothing. No need to cover your hair if you fail to cover your loins.
= no tight jeans, I can't ur bum
= no tight t-shirts, I can't see ur boops
= no all the tights things etc, I can't even see ur ketiak
Then you can pakai tudung. Otherwise buang masa dan buat dosa saja.

izso said...

anon - HAHAHA!!

Mr Incognito said...

*fizzy* >>> let's thank her for that then. thanks for visiting too

Anonymous >>> sounds kinky (and iszo is getting off on this already)

The Pisces Man said...

Anon yg berkata "Saya Bertudung......tetapi...saya juga:

Don't forget this:
Bertudung tapi nampak telinga sebab nak tunjukkan anting2x berjurai dan menunjukkan leher, tengkuk, popular dikalangan artis yg terasa nak bertudung tapi tak sure the methedology....

Dina Zaman said...

you are so funny :D hahaha